Bed Rest

Lost in a fog of dreams,
we sleep and wake together,
drifting in and out of weightlessness,
Our hands touch and our minds kiss.
Warm morning light leaks in drop by drop,
Though the sun calls us, we refuse to stop.
We draw close and drink in warmth,
our hearts content while our time is spent,
lying in each other's arms.



*****
It's wonderful being married.  I was married this October 9th, 2010, and am very happy and love my husband so much!  Even though it can be hard to get used to sharing a bed with another person, it is soooo nice to sleep with another person through the night.  Everything is warmer, safer, and I'm no longer lonely when I sleep. :)

Is it Love?

If all I could do is reminisce,


I’d be stuck full of tears,

Drowning in loneliness.

My failures, hidden in clouds,

Surround my back-mind

In a blackened shroud.

My love was no love,

It was selfishness,

At first the two look so similar,

Then it’s hard to miss.

Oh, obsession,

You’ve left the station,

You’re on vacation,

But I’m only dreaming.

My heart tells me pretty lies,

My own conscience died,

And I’m left to die.

How much can I see,

When only darkness is in front of me?

When I bathe in pride and vanity?

Lust is my bathmat, sin is my soap,

God help me,

That I can still find hope.

Oh, obsession,

You’ve never known love,

Only desperation lies inside,

And my conscience has burned and died.

My only redemption is You, God.

My only freedom is in You, God.

If I could only see how much You love me,

If my sins were wiped clean I could see.

I’m on the fence between loving You and rebelling,

As long as I’m here my soul remains tainted,

But in You, I am given freedom from sin’s grasp,

After this is over I’ll be at peace, at last.

 
 
~~~~
I liked a guy a long time ago, and it was very one-sided.  It lasted for four long years, and I never told him bow I felt, because I knew deep down that he was not a good guy and had a lot of issues.  He was selfish and I was only entertainment for when he was bored, yet I would wait all day for him to talk to me.  I thought, at the time, that I loved him, but looking back, now I know I was only selfishly motivated by my own obsession with him.
Things ended badly, but I can say that I have put the past behind me and have forgiven him.  There is not a good enough word to describe how glad I am to know what real love is.

Gilded filth

Give it up,
you're filling in for an angel,
your bright eyes are dim,
your smile is grim.
Words come out like blackened filth,
Your heart is evil,
Do you not harbour guilt?
You hold out a helping hand,
only to slap their face,
You tell them they did well,
but say it in the worst way.
Why do you judge?
Why don't you love?
Are our efforts to naught,
your heart with jealousy wraught?
We love you,
it's because we love you,
we say this because we love you,
you evil-hearted child.


My parents think that I am jealous and do not give sincere compliments.  I love my sisters, and my compliments, while they are normally thoughtful in nature, are always meant well.
I really don't seem to be able to give compliments that show my true intentions.  I will try, though.  I love them, and my parents.  I am just too weird in my thinking.

I didn't mean to-

Breath is wasted on filling my lungs,
when they are too filled with holes to inflate.
Giving it time and waiting for it is past,
Things no longer change - they crash.
Smattered on the pavement,
lying ripped open on the ground,
I'm lost in a nightmare that can't be saved.
Soundless crying pours from me,
hysterical and scared,
is this really happening?
So scared.




***
This is my first post in my newly created poetry blog.  I unfortunately started with a sadder poem, because right now there is some problems, both because I was in a car accident this week, and because of some problems with my family.  Both things went into this poem, and this was all very real to me.  My poetry is always based off of my real feelings and circumstances.  I have hope, but it is still a tough week.

~Melissa D.