Cheat. Cheater. Cheated.

Endlessly falling into myself,
My eyes widen, pulse fast, adrenaline jumps,
how could I walk into this, again?
How, when we were supposed to begin again?
I want out, I want out,
I don't know where to go and what to do,
everything gets fuzzy and mouth like glue,
I'm just not enough, am I?
A promise is so sweetly intended,
but it's the most evil thing when the promising's ended.
"I never promised that", I hear,
but how could you say that when I made it so clear?
My hopes, all of them, were in you,
and even though I still don't want to lose you,
you aren't the you I thought you were,
And I'm not the me you thought I was.
We can all pretend it's fine,
go off and have a good time,
but we both know it can't last when the world is this grim,
our hearts cry out, breaking from one into halves again.
Who fooled whom, and who ends up alone?
When I step in the door, it's no longer a home.
A beartrap, a torture device, a hell of sorts,
My trust in you was so much that breaking it was a bloodsport.
You can be sweet, and I know you love me,
but your self-hatred and inability don't inspire me,
to be okay with you looking, to be fine with your curiousity,
Because in the beginning it was you who asked trust from me.
I love you, I do,
but who's fooling whom?
Reluctantly hold hands, try to work this through,
When will our beginning, begin again?